Aren't You Scared?

As my departure date draws sooner and sooner I have become more reluctant to talk about my year in Spain. Four months ago it seemed like a distant dream. It seemed that the time would never come, and when it did, I would be prepared. I was leaving my dentists appointment today when the receptionist said, " see you in six months for your next check-up!" It is obviously a spontaneous moment to start thinking about my year abroad but it did spur something inside of my brain. When she said that I quickly agreed and walked out but realized that I wouldn't be in here in six months. In six months I won't be able to go to the dentist, see my friends and my family, go around the corner to my favorite deli. In six months my whole life will change. And it's coming even sooner than that. In about three months I will be boarding a plane that will change me forever. Saying this to myself now feels like I am being a drama queen but its true. It's not that I am not sure about going, I am still 1000% sure that this is what I want to do for my junior year. I just don't think I have completely thought about what I will be leaving behind. The summer will quickly fly by and then instead of going back to school shopping with all of my friends, I don't even know what I will be doing. If anyone brings up something about plans for next year and they do not know I am going abroad I will just agree and move on because taking the time to explain to them what the program is and answer all of their similar questions just leaves me feeling confused.

Questions people always ask about my year abroad:

Aren't you scared? - Obviously yes. I am extremely nervous but it is an opportunity that will change the way I think about the world.

Won't you miss your parents? - Again, yes. But they understand how important this is to me and I will have years and years to come to spend time with them.

What about college? - What about college. This is a very loose idea to me at this point. Maybe I will have to do some applications whilst abroad. Maybe I have to take the SAT the summer of my return. Who knows? I am really trying not to worry about it which may bite me in the ass in a year!

And you are going all by yourself? - Yes, but I hope to make friends whilst abroad!

That's crazy.. - This isn't a questions but it is something people say to me a lot. What is crazy to me is that more people wouldn't jump at the opportunity to spend a year in a foreign country!

I literally get asked these all the time when first telling people which is kind of why I refrain from doing so. At this point I am trying to get everything I can out of the last few months I have in New York, see my friends and family as much as possible, and really just have an unforgettable summer.